garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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