i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
