I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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