Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
