I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
no you cant smoke seaweed
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
