OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
