the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
