He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
