Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
