this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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