If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
