dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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