No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
