Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
