How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
