I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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