i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
