I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
