Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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