yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
