and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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