My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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