nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
