I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
