Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
