I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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