Did you just see the Batmobile???
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
