I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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