i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We got so high we made milksteak
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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