Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
