That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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