you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
