i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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