she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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