1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
