Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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