i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
