then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
