There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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