Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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