I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
