its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
