I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
