I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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