My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
