My first STD was from a foam party
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The air was thick with penises
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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