Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
