I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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