4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
