The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
