Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
