Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
