she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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