On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
